Everytime i try to fly, i fall without my wings, i feel so small. I guessed i need u..Everytime i see u in my dream, i c ur face, ur haunting me... I make believe tat u r here cox its de onli way i see clear. wat have i done?u seem to move on easy...my weakness caused me pain....Nothing seems to be the way that it used to. Everything seemed so shallow, GOD give me truth...I pray tat someday we'll understand wit GOD's all plan and wat he does to us...Don't u run too fast my dear,y don u stop?Stop n listen to my tears cox tat's all i've got...I see somebody's watching over us....



All my life, i've been waiting for u to bring a fairytale my way and living in a fantasy life wit ya...I wonder if u noe how it reali feelsto be left outside alone, wen its cold out here...maybe u shud noe, how it really feels,to be left outside alone...i don feel safe, i need to pray...HEavenly Father,plz, save me...My love is on the line...I'm sick n tired...U din listen,u din care...For a moment i was weak..It feels heavy on my heart to c u like tat...I rmb yesterday, the day before u went away, we were laughing all the way...all of that r left in pieces of a dream....

i reali dunno wats love....hard to get n find...i've alwiz experienced failure everytime love involves. wat to do?i'm not an expert wei...shud i say it was fate?my fate to experience these stuff?did i do any wrong?a fren told me tat we gals shud neva let the opposite sex noe tat we've fallen for them...err...sounds lame to me..its not wrong to love somebody tho they might not like u..

i used to befriend my crush with other frenz...but it fell apart at the very day he left us...i dunno y, maybe bcox he tinks tat we were not worth his time....he jus vanished, into thin air...til the very day i met him in da club.wat a coincidence...fate again?he wasn't bother to greet me anyway, wtf, how cruel he could be..yes, i confess tat i love him, but i din do anythin bout it. u see, me and my frenz, we've gt confused signals from him...as like he also had feeling for me...but den, i reali dunno wat had happened..its like we were stil close frenz and the nex day we're strangers...

I'll call it fate again tat let me came across his sister's blog(i've met her twice n she pretty too) i found out some of his family background, sumthing tat we all would neva tot of...now onli i understand wats wit his attitude...i've gain knowledge n understanding bout his life....i felt sorry to him...but who's gonna pity me for having a similar situation like him?at least he has a damn cool sis who loves him...wat bout me?

I din hav enuf love since child hood but stil hav love for this lil' idiot...its like love blinded me...He noes how i feel...Sumtimes things jus wont come back after it has slipped away...there's not alwiz a second chance u noe...i'm so stupid!!i have loved him for da pass two years...TWO YEARS!!!!witout any communication at all...but i stil love him...maybe tat's bcox i'm a cancerian, loyal to love...its so true..ppl tells me to LET GO GAL!!!i cant...jus cant...i'm holding on every hope i hav...

Believe me, everyone who noes me, noes bout him...cox u'll brag bout da 1 tat u love...i jus hope tat i'll be able to change his mind gua...tis is any typical gurl's thinkin...o jus hope tat GOD can let me meet another guy...jus let me forget bout him la....plz.....

k thx bai~

My silent prayer~

Lord,

What has come over me?

That i've been judged tis way...
Y can't ppl see de other way...
instead of pointing fingers at me...

did u noe
did u hear my cries in silent?
do u love me??

Father,

Only today i realized y it happened to me...
a few yrs back, a similar incident had happened...
i lost my phone...
i said it was the gal...

the gal who happened to steal her fren's before...
a gal whom i judged tat she took mine...
Now, i felt how she felt...
it was terrible....now onli i knew...
tat v do hav to pay for da things v did....

I'm wondering....

those who judged me,
are they gonna pay wat they did??
especially tat Pastor Kenneth...
i cant help but to hate him...
for his merciless words...
accussation without evidences...
He forced me to admit...
tat i was the thief...
how could i?
wen i knew nothin of it....
u judge him lord....

But then i noe,
tat truth neva reveals its true self....
causing pain to the victim....
isn't it true??
tat justice was neva on my side???

I saw,
ppl found happiness...
ppl found love,joy n peace...
where's mine...
u noe i noe.....

between us there's no secrets...

may i exchange all my sadness, hatred, burdens...

for love, happiness, joy and peace??

wen will all the sufferings be gone?

Yes!
i envy ppl who r loved...

ppl who owns all de materials...

ppl who r pampered...

wasn't it unfair???

for 20 yrs....

how hav i lived??

i tried to live life cool like them..

but u din let me....

i tried to stand stil...

but u made me fall....

a fren told me tat,

u'll neva let me go thru things tat i couldn't overcome...

u love me eversince the very day i was born...

u treat me like ur very own...

u have greater plans for me....

den, why do i stil gotta pray??

u've everythin unto ur hands now...

i have no choice rite??

i'm nt trying to blame u...

but lookin at my surroundings..

i dont understand...

cox i neva get wat i wanted nt to say needs...

i'm glad to hav a new family,

made up if new frenz....

de old 1 is forever gone...

things r nt da same anymore...

never again....

I hope...

tat there's a plan..

a betta 1 ahead...

Trust

Its so important to have it in our life...bcox everyday we need it to go on wit life, wtf. How does it feels to be nt trusted at all??how does it feels to be refered as the liar??I've been put into numerous of these situatios b4...guess it affected me damn loads...recently was about da stupid fucking ta ma de tiaw laptop by my roomate. Everyone was out of the suspects' s list except me n tracy...

It gave us a hard time...cold war happened...wtf so damn obvious, how can u ppl deny it...Marie had a heart to heart session wit me...she said if i tell her tat i'm nt da one who took her lappie den she'll trust me...i told her so...n she said she trust my words...As we tot tat things were settled, another problem submerged immediately...

Ps kenneth came around, regarded about da fuckie lappie again...i was like how many the fuck time u wanna repeat da stupid mahai case???very irritating hou mou!!!!He conered me n talked bout rubbish b4 emerging to de main idea...mahai, say i noe who fuckin took da lappie n even ask,"so its stil in da building o got sold"...wtf, wat r u? GOD????u cant judge me bcox of the surroundings..(u see, me n tracy are alwiz nt at home cox i'm workin n she's wit her bf)

He made alot of fucking confusion to my mind...n got me into migraine.. almost had a mental break down....ma de tiaw arr...say i'm a thief, ham ka ling u arr....

Some day, u'll regret for ur words n action....GOD is nt blind...tho ur a pastor doesnt mean tat the devil cant be inside u...we'll jus wait n see....i shall make u regret, u've gotta pay for wat u did!!!

Dismay~

It's been so dissapointing in this damn brand new year. i can tell that tis is nt my year tho....my studies, dreams, hopes,....looks crushed!!!wat had actuali happened to me?where did i went wrong? why?

You noe, its nt easy being me....so much to tink about...i've been living in dismay all these years...where r all the happy times? i don reali feel happiness but instead i felt emptiness......things were neva da same anymore....so r v humans...yesterday was a hangout wit classmates...though everything went smoothly, but i din felt happy...not a single bit compared to the olden days....maybe its bcox of ppl...ppl who we mix around with...

Everyone seems to have their own way dy, so wat the heck is wrong wit me???!!!cant i jus move on? NO!!!bcox i could neva let go of the past, the memories that i cherished for my whole life!!!seems like i'm the onli idiot doing it!stupid huh? i do tink so too...wtf...cant do much cox that's me~

This year's resolution, i hope, can bring change in my life, i can seek wat i need in my life, hopefully i will find it....its a big mission of the year...no question asked!!i've lost my dearest family...and now i've gained a new one...tho not the same as de previous one, i will still treasure it well cox we dont noe wtf is gonna happen in future~

Life is so boring witout my kakis....where are u ppl??i miss u guys la~damn fucking bored witout u guys....exams is jus round da corner...law is like so fucking hard...btw y shud i ever study bout law???so damn mou lan yung!!!its nt like i wanna be a lawyer....wtfwtf~!!!

where'd u go?

i miss...



ur smile,

ur laughter,

ur eyes which is so look like mine,

ur funky attitude,

ur cool face,

the happy times we had...



i love....



ur lips...

ur touch...

ur drivings...

the way u look at me....



it was just you....in me...whole heartly....



where r u?

Brand new year

At last i started my blogging!!!! As i stepped into tis brand new year, there were some new adjustment i had to make but nvm, maybe it was the best way~2007?well was nt reali a great 1 for me compared to 2006.tat particular year made me lose alot~more den words can say~

sigh~it was one hell of a tough year~wtf by meeting some ma hai ppl. tiu u tink u damn nice meh~ chi pai!!wtf u tink u damn pretty arr...eww....look at ur skin la...ur nt pretty at all ok~so stop acting ur like a damn princess!!

on the other hand i met a uhm-quite-nice fren tho v had some issues b4. Her name is celyna who looks abit like me...but she's i would say far off betta from me~got la!!!thru her, i've learned alot....thx to her i m who i m now....i reali envy her of materials n knowledge but wat she don hav is freedom like me~u c she came from a wealthy family wit everythin she wans but jus no hangouts n outings like me...so....kinda cruel life ya???

but den again life like mine is........so nt fun la....i dunno how to explain but.....haiz....suan la~thay alwiz say, sin fu hao tim.....wtf, have hao tim oredi dead la!!!

kla tat's all 4today~chiao....