Moody Saturday.

All these while my Saturdays had been filled with the same routine which i always had enjoyed. Facial, massage, dinner ending with movie. Today was supposed to be the exact same routine but messed up when i had ran out of patient waiting. I've been hanging around the mall for a few hours before i meet the gang in the evening-its normal. I clearly DO understand that everyone has their own things to do at all time #fact. But not till a time when time was fixed at evening, u turn up late-2 hours from the time stated. Worst of all i was told that 'don't expect that ppl will even turn up at the time agreed'. I was like WOW.... i was fucking supposed to wait till all of u turn up????? And don't go telling me 'wat's wrong with waiting for a while' which i-don-know that in ur dictionary that a while stands for 2hours!. My GOD!

Pls kill me then. And all this just becox u said ' u pissed me off in the 1st place'. How the fucking old are u? Stil like 5 year old kids complaining????!!!! I know bcox i count on u guys to ferry me wherever we had to go. I understand & i'm thankful for that. I tried my best every time to help out as much as i could. Why am i always treated like this?

All i wanted is to be appreciated. If that's is so hard or i'm so fucking not worth it, then wat's the point of staying on???

Cny 2011-Bunny year.

This is the 5th day of the CNY 2011 & i'm already back from Penang & Ipoh. Seriously, I miss all the days i spent with my family members. The family warmth, atmosphere, communications..... But I know it would only happen once a year. I wish i can have that more often than just once a year basis. Sighs. Prolly i should make more trips back home..

The Casuarina tree on the right was there every since i was born!

Never bored of the beautiful scenery.

Over 20 years of sisterhood. We still stand strong.

My eldest uncle & wife who babysat me for years ever since i was born.

Enjoying mam mamz.

Barely 1/3 of my family members*winks*.

Awwwww.... The newest family member- Stanley aka
BingBing.

Happily married with a kid!

20years ago, we were like them =)

But still, i lead a happy life just like them!

AngPow! AngPow! I love you so much.

Evon sis (far right). My best sis-in-law.
Papa & Fat Bunny.

Me being myself.


While typing this post, I felt very emo and I'm shedding tears! Prolly its all about those picture that told me alot of stories. Before & after. How have each and everyone of us has changed. How our parents grew old. The time is coming soon for us to take over their place. Time flew, like a jet plane or maybe much faster. But one thing remains the same is that we are all One Family. That bond shall stand for eternity.

PS/: For this post, dad's son, Kenny, is excluded because i feel that you are just too far away from me with mum. You never know how to treat me right because you think I'm younger and I have to freaking respect you even you mistreated me. Let me tell you, THIS IS THE MODERN ERA. I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE U FACE IF YOU CAN'T SPELL THE WORD R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Treat me right & i shall respect you as an elderly. Oh yes, don't ever, mark my word, EVER raise your voice on me. I'M-NOT-AFRAID (Eminem)

Vice Versa

My life is so funny till I can't laugh a shit out of it. Funny but its true! Rmb a few months ago's post about a bitch whom I hate so much has turned out to be a good fren to me. We no longer have bad comments or any sulky face towards each other. Instead I learnt a lot from her. When business wasn't so good, she constantly on mindsetting myself to think positively, like seriously. No wonder her sales are like bombs everyday! Now I can seriously enjoy my work during all ups and downs. Appreciated her advices.

Why vice versa? Becox my bestfren no longer is a bestfren anymore.. Things has changed, drastically and dramatically. I din want to, no one does. But that's the way how it had to be. I realized that it was easy to find a backup for my place. No big deal. Therefore, I pledged to not having any special bestfren in my life again. Instead, I prefer just closed frens like some of the Mohs. No more sisterhood for me. I've learnt my lesson very well. What's the point of giving out love, sincerity and honesty when all you get in return is one word,"HORRIBLE". Thank you very much for the reminder.

And also for the nightmare.

Chap Goh Meh.

There goes another CNY for the 23rd year in my life. Urrgh....filled with all ups and downs. Meaning in the sense of enjoying GREAT happiness and also GREAT sadness. CNY was real happening with all the activities with the MOHs i.e. getting drunk, gambling, TV room, movies all at CEO, Jay Moh's house.Love it! A life that i do not wanna end!Got my brand new BOLD a few days ago and its lovely despite the fact that i have alot of exploring to be done. Forget about that part. I'm so not in the mood for happy things cox of extreme disappointment till when typing this post there is so much typo error that i had to check before even posting up.

Got to meet up with Dad, got my cheque and having lunch with family members. Could be a happy family day. Well, here comes the working days. No more MCs ok.

i wan happiness.

Human makes life complicated. I don need those complications cox they don make me any stronger but disappointed instead. Please don mess up my life as I'm just trying to live iit to da fullest before I die. An oso why is God being so fucked up unfair without blessing the necessities I needed. And U go and mess up the fully blessed people's life.. Wtf is wrong with u? Why so unfair? What did we do? Look what have U done

January 2010.

There goes another month in my life. A month filled with happiness, confidence, money inclusive of some sadness and disappointment. Kinda balanced i would say.But the disappointment is really really deep that i think i really need some self actualization. It has always been the same issue with the same person. I don't have to say 'Sorry, I just can't be like who you are' because i'm born to be myself. Ain't a clone nor plastic. I don't know if I shud hate you not since we are close friends. Maybe its not your fault, but it really could have been yours, always getting in my way.wtf.

Anyway, 4Play and Poppy was GREAT as usual.




Ladies just loves 4Play!





The Party Bitch is back!

ps/ Thank you GOD for creating me with such a huge body frame with all the bulging flesh and blood that got me criticized when all i want is to enjoy my life. Fuck you people!

Silent Christmas Eve.

Its 2009 Christmas Eve. Oh hell, i'm wondering what the hell i'm doing, sitting at home in front of the computer updating my blog. Every past Christmas there used to be events but due to my hectic work in retailing previously, i skipped. Now when i'm officially doing a 9-6 job, i got left out. Sigh. See how life changed.

I can't help it but i must say this. WTF!!!

Clueless.

I really don't understand why were you sooooo frustrated with me... 3 weeks ago, we were talking tho not close at least there was simple conversation and greetings between us. A few days later, you looked grumpy and all towards me. Ok, maybe you were stressed bout work or studies, fine- that's your excuse i thought for you...But then again, i felt that you're kinda avoiding me...i.e eye contacts, gestures....Hey, i'm a good observer so don't think that i dunno k! Or maybe your shy huh?? And felt something's tinkling on between us??? OMFG, don't make me guess again...Brain's exhausted. You have no idea how happy i was to see you when i thought that i won't be seeing you. Sigh, excuse me for being so childish.

Ladies & Gentlemen,

I think i'm in love...

Rewind

My blog shud hate me like forever bcox i don't blog often due to the lack of time i had for this blog.....Ok!!Ok!!! I admit that i'm way too lazy to update my blog cox i'm not an exciting person and i do not have much happenings around me and bla bla bla....So, wat am i up to recently?? Well, just graduated with a merit in my PR and yes i'm planning to continue my advance BUT not now cox i wanna take a break from assignment, lectures, tutorials and stress at the moment bcox i wanna be in my comfort zone where i can do watever i wan at the moment......

My first escape was to Redang with frenz after the exams and yes i miss it very much especially the quote "EVERYDAY IS THE SAME DAY" which was written at the corner of the check-in counter. Guess to the ppl there that their everyday is the same day...Actually i tink it applies to all of us rite??? Cox if ur nt working den u shud be studying unless ur a lazy pig and u do watcha do everyday- eat, sleep and shit!!!!which seems to be a routine too...

A pit-stop for some pix ok?


so 'serendipity' i like!!!


Hello Redang!!!


Look!! I can swim ok...


Everyone gets a seat....


Some cool icy kacang on the hot, sunny beach..*drOols*



Baby shark konon...corals gt alot la....hampir terhantuk pulak~!!!!


YOHOHO!!! Bring me my rum!!!!



We came with rain, therefore we left with da rain too~

Ish!!Ish....came back kl like a malai po dy.....tan like i have neva ever been and the sunburns hurt ALOT!!!! till i wanna cry.wtf.

Came back kl, work work work and diet diet diet but to no avail i tink.....Aiya...i'm such a failure i noe la wei!!!!!!!!Slap 9 myself den onli u noe!

Most of my frenz, i mean ppl i really noe proceeds to advance la....i wish to join them again for teamwork but i noe i have reach to a point that i cant budge for some moments, therefore, i do not force myself into it.....(Eh! not that i fail any paper o wat arr!!! don simply judge!! i passed all ok!) But i shall not be wasting my one-year break tho....somehow i wish to participate in their projects or assignment as an idea-giver.... sure i noe things will change alot bcox we no longer get together as often as we do in college before...but i really hope that we all wont get unfriendly due to lack of communication....sigh..its revolving now..i could see the effect taking place....Aiya, u all can shut up and dont rmb wat the fuck happen can o not???

Is this wat u ppl wan for the rest of ur life???Dammit!!!Somehow issues doesnt just involve only both parties but also ppl around u all...Have u all somehow thought of the consequences and side-effect towards us da ppl-fren??? It really make me feel akward u noe...So wat if ur opponent is wrong? So wat if ur right all the time and u gt subotage o wat-the-fuck watever u had? Does that make you a winner?? Got title to be won is it???MCB.... Life is way too short to rmb all the shits of life.... I just wanna have happy times, all the time. Yes i'm very selfish, but u can ask, who don wanna be happy all the time????

Becox of this, i somehow feels my heart aching as if its has been bleeding consecutively. Sigh...Somehow, wen i need a companion on my off day, i cant find any despite the fact that my facebook frenlist exceeds 200ppl....Guess i'm not popular with frens huh??Character oso dapat MAID lagi.wtf. Show some respect can or not! I'm also a gurl, i do have my pride too, i deserve to be pampered, cherished and remembered too. All may tink i'm hard, but i aint. It was bcox of the damages done which somehow causes me to be like wat-u-tink-i-am. Like it or not, this is my blog.

GOD DAMN IT!!!!!

Losing faith.

Sometimes i wonder the objectives of my life. It seems to be so confusing, causing me to lose alot of things around me. At times i thought that i've given my very best while getting compliments all over. But in the end everything turned into nothing just by a blink of my eyes. Somehow, i wonder how the hell it happened. Was it my mistake or was it fate? Sigh....

What went wrong? I may never know....I've lost hope, and now i'm starting to lose faith. Pardon me, but this is how life treated me. I'm speechless. I don't think i'll be into studies like ever again. It gives me the creep.....

My Lucky Star.

Also known as "Fang Yang De Xing Xing". This is a 20 episode series that i've watched recently. Nice one tho. The settings and story lines is really impressive if you pay full attention to it. It's one of the most romantic movie that melted my heart and gt me sobbing at the end of da story.

Both the female & male lead actors are very good and pretty and handsome. Da girl, Yoo Ha Na, is a Korean who graduated in a Korean Drama Uni which is very hard to get in, therefore she is one of the best actress around i would say. Jimmy Lin is someone we would all resemble as Edison Chen because of the style and stuff i guess. I've just voted him as my role celebrity.hahahah.( Not becox he looks like edison but becox of tis movie that he acted really good!!)


Guess how old is him????zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......... Can u believe that he is 35 tis year?! He doesnt really look like 35 but the fact he is INDEED 35!!!! Being the curious me, (heheheheh) i sure have done alot of homework on him...

He:

• is born in Tapei, Taiwan in 15th Oct, 1974
• libra
  
• parents wit 1 older &2 younger bro + a younger sis
• is a professional racer
  
• kind- hearted, alwiz take part in charities
• is Kelly chen & Rubin lin's ex.wtf
• is handsome!!!yeh!!
• keeps low profile
• etc, etc, etc......so much more taht i'm so lazy to cont.!

I simply love this portrait!


I tink they shud be a couple. They looked sooooooooooo'chan'.


That red ferarri belongs to Jimmy Lin...Believe me...that guy owns a lot of these thang!

I so fell in love with the theme songs:
"Our Memories" (Wo Men De Ji Nian) + "Speed Of Love" (Ji Su Ai Cheng) by Shivia Lee @ Li Ya Wei.I'm trying to learn them so that i can sing when i'm in K!

Plus, Jimmy Lin's own lyrics, "Dui Wang".

I would say this story is like a fairy tale that it will only happen in movies and not real life. So don't get too emotionally involved in ur lala land after watching it like i did...ahahahahha!!!!

Do check out their behind the scenes in youtube! There was a link that Yoo Ha Na cried for a whole week before the shooting ends. Poor gurl... I understand that feeling bcox after the shooting, she would have to go back to Korea and maybe they all may not be able to meet each other again.....She sobbed," Don't forget me pls....DON'T!!!!!" and went on emo-ing. Other actress or female staff cant hold their tears too....Even i cant...so i too sob along while watching it. Jimmy Lin told her that this would be her first movie and she did great. There will be more to come and in every movie, she must do great just like how she did in this one.In another video, he said to her, " We all will miss you very much. Hope that you will too." Awww.....that was very nice of him.....Sigh.....Dont we all just love fairytales?

iamsmart.wtf

Being a PR practitioner is not easy....
Being a PR student is NOT easy too....wtf..
But i consider myself as lucky because i've taken up PR stuff for around 3yrs and no, things weren't easy ok. Furthermore tis is my last semester and the subject is so fucking hard that i can start banging my head onto the wall.wtf.

Thinkin of a campaign is killing my brain especialy with a lecturer who wants something different and crazy from us...wOooo.....tension-nye... i onli hav approximately 10 days for da press release and photos... where has my creativity gone to??? i find it so hard to think of a simple idea which i believe i could have done it within a snap of my fingers if i were a few yrs younger...(i'm not saying that i'm old la!!!!) Maybe my brain is lack of oxygen, therefore, it is dysfunctioning??? hahahah!!!wtf.

Stolen.

Having the whole month to myself without worrying for my studies gave me the opportunity to do some thinking. Not any critical thinking, just some memories that i had in mind. Friendster and facebook has brought me back to meet all my Brunei frenz whom i gave not seen for da past 9 yrs. Most of them now are studying overseas, still in the same gang like Karen, Abygal, Samuel, Ganapathi, Nicole etc. I noe they still hang around together tho in different countries, studying. Btw, Alicia is in KL and i tink i'm gonna meet her up for some drinks later this week.

I feel happy for them that they can still be together like frenz who grows up together from young till old & this is wat we can call as old frenz. I, on the other hand, wasn't in for that luck. Sure i do have alot of good frenz now, i aint complaining. Just that seeing the frenship that they held is so strong makes me kinda jealous. I asked myself, wat if i graduated there instead of staying here? Could i be like them? By this time i should be in Uni dy but due to some critical reasons, i couldn't. It hurts when adding them up in frenster or facebook we dont talk. Wat was the point???

The thoughts of going back to Brunei is a big question i must consider deeply....Heard tat bro's getting married. When? I dunno...Maybe aint goin back...cox i noe tat i'll meet some old ppl like his classmates and all....But...somehow...i aint ready.

The time aint right.

Break a leg

No matter how good i do,
how much effort i put,
how much hard work i put in,

i'm still neva gonna be the best for them.They neva do see me...at all

my intuition?

It suddenly hit me tat ur not happy. I can feel & sense it... Dunno why, but i think its true. My intuition tells me that ur not happy working here, having hard times, too much pressures.... I think u'll be far more happier back in the other state, rite? Maybe u shudn't even be near to me...tat way u won't be feeling so...

But then again, I have chosen to let go of u. I don't mind bout u much dy.. It just bothered me somehow.... U need to escape, from responsibility, from problems ur facing.... hold on my fren..just keep holding on...



This is a song dedicated to you....

Exam's here again~ I'm not even done with my history...=.="...wish me luck!

My silent prayer~

Lord,

What has come over me?

That i've been judged tis way...
Y can't ppl see de other way...
instead of pointing fingers at me...

did u noe
did u hear my cries in silent?
do u love me??

Father,

Only today i realized y it happened to me...
a few yrs back, a similar incident had happened...
i lost my phone...
i said it was the gal...

the gal who happened to steal her fren's before...
a gal whom i judged tat she took mine...
Now, i felt how she felt...
it was terrible....now onli i knew...
tat v do hav to pay for da things v did....

I'm wondering....

those who judged me,
are they gonna pay wat they did??
especially tat Pastor Kenneth...
i cant help but to hate him...
for his merciless words...
accussation without evidences...
He forced me to admit...
tat i was the thief...
how could i?
wen i knew nothin of it....
u judge him lord....

But then i noe,
tat truth neva reveals its true self....
causing pain to the victim....
isn't it true??
tat justice was neva on my side???

I saw,
ppl found happiness...
ppl found love,joy n peace...
where's mine...
u noe i noe.....

between us there's no secrets...

may i exchange all my sadness, hatred, burdens...

for love, happiness, joy and peace??

wen will all the sufferings be gone?

Yes!
i envy ppl who r loved...

ppl who owns all de materials...

ppl who r pampered...

wasn't it unfair???

for 20 yrs....

how hav i lived??

i tried to live life cool like them..

but u din let me....

i tried to stand stil...

but u made me fall....

a fren told me tat,

u'll neva let me go thru things tat i couldn't overcome...

u love me eversince the very day i was born...

u treat me like ur very own...

u have greater plans for me....

den, why do i stil gotta pray??

u've everythin unto ur hands now...

i have no choice rite??

i'm nt trying to blame u...

but lookin at my surroundings..

i dont understand...

cox i neva get wat i wanted nt to say needs...

i'm glad to hav a new family,

made up if new frenz....

de old 1 is forever gone...

things r nt da same anymore...

never again....

I hope...

tat there's a plan..

a betta 1 ahead...