i know...

i'm not a good fren
i'm not good at expressing myself
i'm not good at making frens..wtf~
i always have to depend on other ppl for alot of reasons.wtf
i'm not as attractive as others...
i'm not as good as others...
i'm not as smart as others...
i'm always the one whole spoil things,wtf~
i am always the one and only who gets all the karma...
i am, always the one who ends up crying & blaming myself for everything~

but then again, did u noe...

how much i care for all the ppl around me despite of their perception on me?
how much attention i paid to everything althou it is a small matter?
how much tears i held back jus to show that i'm strong enuf to let it out at home when no one's around?
how much i envy others what they have that i had to live without?
how much i think of repaying to all the lovely ppl who helped me alot in my life?
how much time i spend daily to improve myself after a long day at college, work & home?
how hard i try to persuade myself that life is just nice by letting my imagination take over my mind?
how it hurts to know that most of my effort to sustain everything turns out to be a waste?
how much sticks i've puffed to calm myself down?


No one noes...because all they see is just me, the pathetic, poor, useless girl who is just making a fool out of herself as in doing a monkey show!

life has given me alot of happiness, at the same time it has now robbed me every single happiness that i have ever had...

And now, i'm waiting...for another happiness to come before life wipe me out completely can?